Microsoft 8 is a joke

Similar Questions

• Removal of jokes because Microsoft think they are DANGEROUS

  I got a JOKE to a friend that I've seen many times before, but this time THAT MICROSOFT decided that a PART of this joke was dangerous to my computer... not the joke together, only the part that equates PELOIS NANCE with a bat of DING SOCIALIST.  What sounds like MICROSOFT has a political position on what others read?  It looks to me.  Otherwise, why not remove the whole joke rather than just a part of it?  I get really tired of people trying to control what I read, what I believe and what I'm buying.  Now, MICROSOFT is to decide what comes to me in the form of jokes.  FOX NEWS might have something to say about it.

  Maynard

  Hello Maynard,

  1. where did you get that joke?

  2. how you try to view these jokes?

  3. What is the format of the file joke?

  Microsoft does not control what you read, you think, and you buy. This could be caused due to viruses or hackers or other third party software.

  Response with more information on the issue to provide you with the best solution.

• Microsoft and taken my vipre antivirus microsoft joke virus

  last night my anti-virus viper is the name of it has been taken to put viruses on my system called the joke trying to modify my software at & t what I was wondering is why when Microsoft is supposed to be protection against viruses can someone tell me why?

  I was wondering is why when Microsoft is supposed to be protection against viruses can someone tell me why?

  Anti-virus and other things depend mainly on /definitions signatures and some are intended to detect low percentages heuristic/behavioral...

  Out the new viruses and threats from time to time and as soon as lab found malware sample, they will update the signature and send client PC with their antivirus solutions...
  Is there, it is highly recommended to increase the frequency of update of signature threat of an antivirus solution...  Without new definitions, there cannot detect threats...

  same thing for Microsoft products...  If there is no update done signature, your pc is open to malware and threats, without worrying that the producer antivirus is microsoft

• When I try to access Microsoft, my Internet Security provider tells me that this is a site without certificate - seriously? Microsoft may not have a certificate?

  Very frustrated and get VERY annoyed the monopoly total Microsoft have my PC. The system they have is beyond a joke. To change the password sign - "for my own safety', I need to enter the last 4 digits of my cell phone - to receive a 'code' to continue. Sometimes I don't get a code - OR I get an error message! Seriously? I could get into Fort Knox easier! I can't access my pc when I turn it on until I have enter the password - I LIVES ON MY OWN - that is trying to access my pc - the goldfish? I need to log in - but Microsoft have totally taken over my computer and I can't cancel the password. When I try to access Microsoft, my Internet Security provider tells me that this is a site without certificate - seriously? Microsoft may not have a certificate?

  Hi RF R,.

  Frustrating indeed sounds and it looks to me that you have two step of checking enabled for your Microsoft Account. Here are some instructions on how to disable it:

  On the two-step verification - Windows help

  I hope this helps!
  David

• Is it possible for Microsoft to scan any computer for reasons of "public security"?

  is it not real elements like Panther allow a virtual environment that is almost undetectable by the IT Admin means? My data and user / open safety of MS changed at a session using the virtual environment that is secretly activated through programs / "features" like the Panther and CBS (sp?), etc.?  Has been done for one user so far?

  I'm not the first and I think that this technology is used to violate the civil rights of others on a mass scale.  Given that this could be a matter of national security, I am reaching out.

  I'm being hacked by what appears to be aggressive MS security, using the Panther, and other 'features' of this virutualize my PC... .ESP all drivers seem to be based USB mimicking their physical counterparts.

  I think that this is done to steal information in real time. Each device can be controlled and even crime prepared by the staff.

  My directories are deleted esp my user profile and all files under it.

  most patches are disabled as any device to save the data. my SD card is not recognized, and when that I log out I get windows blue screen which I think happens when the profile is deleted during a session.

  It's very dangerous for me.  VERY so... I need help!

  No restore points left or I'm not familiar with the operating system to learn how to restore them since I do not know where they live.

  I did this activity more and more malicious for more than a month on several PC.  I keep two on sneaker net so I have a database of illegal activities.

  I have never agreed to any person using my hard drive, steal my personal and because files that I am involved in a case of corruption of local authorities in the County, I hope that charges to go to the way a federal investigation since I posted this question for some time.  This isn't a joke.

  for example, the trash is moved or deleted, but to help to restore I have much evidence to prove my case to the FBI.  I am trying to get a response from Microsoft before I go this route.

  Tai-Decker

  The best answer I can give you is to point you in the direction of some here Microsoft privacy policies:

  Microsoft Privacy

  Microsoft online policy statement .

  In what concerns the intentions of ability and real Microsoft then you have to make that determination for yourself. Any comment here would be conjecture and enter the realms of the "conspiracy theories". Personally, I honestly have no knowledge on this subject and will not comment.

• How am I supposed to get help from microsoft when someone hacked my account? I've done everything asked, and nobody gets in touch. I'm losing business from day to day.

  How am I supposed to get help from microsoft when someone hacked my account?  I've done everything asked, and nobody gets in touch. I'm losing business from day to day.
  I've now set up a separate hotmail address so that I can write on this forum. It's a joke. I have tried for days to resolve this. Microsoft... one of the best companies in the world... poor quality more like...
  make money then I lose business... I am a small business as it is.

  I NEED HELP TO RETRIEVE MY PREVIOUS ADDRESS EMAIL PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

  Hi kate louisecox,.

  I understand your frustration.  In the search for your question, you got to see this article?  It examines a compromised account:

  http://www.windowslivehelp.com/solution.aspx?SolutionID=6ea0c7b3-1473-4176-b03f-145b951dcb41

  Also, if this does not help your situation, I would say that post future questions about this issue in the Windows Live Solution Center Forums as they would be able to help you:

  http://www.windowslivehelp.com/forums.aspx?ForumID=b782602b-8e7c-40D8-a66b-b44824497a17

  Like a record, these are public forums, so not everyone who responds is an employee of Microsoft.

  Thank you for using Microsoft Answers!

• Re.Microsoft Security Essentials

  Finally after much "Promo"about "Microsoft Security Essentials".

  Curisity victory!

  It's free download install and use onlycondition MSWindowshave 'authentic '.

  Of couse! Say and do:

  -Download;

  move to the first (MSSE) he check my system after that in my apper systemtray green icon with a check mark. Ok!

  (1) or ask for the shortcut on the desktop, or in quicklunch (WinXP). Finally to solve this problem my usual, copy and paste the "Start menu";

  (2) or email client config, suppossing it will detect by default go on;

  (3) on the messages received or sent or adnoyatination on the verification of the anyhoax, treath and found it(messagereceived/sent) is clean.

  (4) I don'tlike this pseudo-antivirus, it will be replaced.

  PS. I can understand that "hourse gift no control to the teeth" nothing will not pay, nothing is going to receive.

  But my time lost wit this joke > "Microsoft Security Essentials"!

  Property wil be get out and replaced with my "ESET NOD32".

  Your main problem with Microsoft Security Essentials appears to be with the e-mail. Perhaps the following would be interesting.

  MSE scan email?
  http://answers.Microsoft.com/en-us/protect/Forum/protect_scanning/does-MSE-scan-e-mail/2b9dd412-1116-4d28-84bb-ebeab5d28ced

  To address any other concerns see http://experts.windows.com/w/experts_wiki/89.aspx()

  If you want to make your comments directly to Microsoft express your dissatisfaction to use the link below.

  Send feedback to Microsoft Security Essentials
  https://feedback.microsoftsecurityessentials.com/default.aspx?ProductKey=Morro&scrx=1

  There are about 140 million + users of Microsoft Security Essentials in the world and it currently has 15% on the part of the North American market.

  OPSWAT anti-virus report shows the big Gains Microsoft Making
  http://www.ReadWriteWeb.com/Enterprise/2012/03/OPSWAT-anti-virus-report-shows.php

  

  FWIW ESET NOD32 would be a good alternative reputation if you are willing to pay for an antivirus solution.

• Microsoft Lifecam Cinema and also HD 5000 no longer work

  I bought a Microsoft Lifecam Cinema, who worked for 3 weeks fine, it stopped working so I bought another a HD 5000 thinking cinema one is broken somehow. Now, I have 2 cams of Microsoft and the 5000 appeared when I plugged into my USB port so it may not be the specific problem of material. In any case, I reinstalled the software and followed all the steps and as I said I got the movies very well before work. Dear Microsoft - fix your products or help people out when they need help. I have no key ID because you forgot to put one inside the Lifecam products. Oh yes, the work of slots USB just fine for all the other hardwares aaaaand I unplugged my USB and had only my HD 5000 and a Logitech keyboard connected so there is no conflict either. _ (Seriously) that I'm having a problem in real life and as well in net life and also inside the my___ and have an XP I want assistance I paid 120 ___Euros for my ___webcams _ when same but why do you not your products work like the HATER I get by not having not of things working for me are 1 billion times bigger and legal _. Dear Microsoft Teams - if you ever happen to make some software for military don't bother please as let it for macintosh as ___Such implants of human brain as an example and the satellites that are connected to these little wonders. But back to the question - I need your urgent help because I need my cam and no, this isn't a joke - it is the real situation of 100% to the difference of the holy books. Please help me! Greetings to the MS team! LOOKS: Heikki roots

  Hello

  Try the fix tool of the article below and check out them.
  Hardware devices do not work or are not detected in Windows
  http://support.Microsoft.com/mats/hardware_device_problems/

  Contact the Microsoft hardware support for assistance.
  Microsoft hardware
  http://www.Microsoft.com/hardware/en-us/support

• I just had a phone call from microsoft/windows technical help

  I feel so stupid that I fell for this but I don't

  so my not very different history of all these other... Indian guy asked all week saying he needed emergency talk to me on the serious malicious virus on my computer. He said it was from Microsoft technical and necessary support about half an hour of my time. I asked him to ring back several times because with young children, it was never the right time. Anyway, he called again this morning and I thought I had better address this issue as it sounded quite serious, it sounded very authentic for me and in my mind, I thought that somebody to call me every day this week, he must be who he is, he said.  so he took me through a website (I think it was logmein123) and asked me to enter a code and said that his colleague would then control my computer.  which she did, all the time the guy was on the end of the phone explaining what she was doing.  She presented as andrea williams from the Manchester direction! She then spent over the next 40 minutes on my computer. towards the end the guy says ok we have identified as you can see (I could see some sort of thing report on my computer at this point) we found quite a few mistakes - we can fix these for you. OK, I said. Andrea williams then says I have to download to your computer one of these options (it then lists the 4 different but recommend the 4th option at a cost of £289 I foolishly said okay.)  a form then appeared on my computer asking for my card details name address date of birth ect - what I have briefed (BTW im currently hitting my head on the table where I'm writing this at my stupidity!)  Fortunately my beautiful Bank was on the ball and refused a payment. This was the point that they have began to have a bit narky with me.  the guy said he was going to pass me to andrea from Manchester who would talk to me in person to try to settle this payment. me thinking that I was going to talk to someone with a manchester accent... don't be stupid... .i started talking to another very Indian lady who was very rude and very impatient with me. then she said to me (Yes told me) do to ring my Bank while it took place on the line to address this issue. It was then I thought no Ive has had enough and finally, alarm bells began to ring! (all right all right I recently had two children, you know)
  !). I told him that I would call the Bank later. reluctantly, she said ok, but said she'd call me in an hour - I said all that. It's then the strange thing happened - I tried to disconnect my computer, but it forced somehow back to and typed a message saying that please let me connected disconnect.  I typed a message and said you have learned to be pleasant and able to stop everything. then (the storys stops not here oh no) it sounds me only true to his word back an hour the second later. and said - have you talked to your bank. I said yes. What did say, she said. I said, that they said that you are a crook. at this point she just freaked out at me. told me that I needed psychiatric help. so I said, and you have to find a good job and stop robbing the people hard earned money there. then she said something quite scary. She said you wait awhile and just see what we are capable of... I hung up and then cause a chill went down my spine.
  Sorry to go on and give you every little detail but despite jokes he really shake me and I hope that warn you other people that these people are horrible and won't stop not stalking you until they get what they want, even when they have been rumbled. they have no scruples or even care about their effects on people.  They you in real, and they are completely credible.  After the call I informed fraud action (UK) the 03001232040 that gives you a reference of crime and pass information to the police. I was also advised to get a reputable company computer to look at the computer where they left any damage to the computer.
  can someone advise in the meantime if I need to do anything with regard to my computer, like most I'm now worried that they have endangered the security of my computer. also can they get on my computer once again without knowing me.

  Suggest you read the following: http://ask-leo.com/i_got_a_call_from_microsoft_and_allowed_them_access_to_my_computer_what_do_i_do_now.html

  Recommend you cancel card credit/financial accounts that could be in your computer and change all passwords and have you reformat/reinstall your operating system.

  http://Windows.Microsoft.com/en-us/Windows/help/install-reinstall-uninstall

  Your computer and information (financial or other) must be considered as a compromise. You can uninstall everything related to logmein123 (which is a program legitimate and it is doubtful that the scammers could not back into your computer), but I wouldn't recommend that you even connect to the internet until it is reformatted.

  Good luck...

• I received this email from one of my group of friends. She seems to be fake and wants to strike at Microsoft? the last reason is most of them are now trying to sign with another e-mail address as this kind of massages belong to Hot mail.

  VERY URGENT - PLEASE READ - NOT A JOKE MAKE THIS DEAL! IF A PERSON CALLED SIMON ASHTON ( * address email is removed from the privacy * ) CONTACTS YOU BY E-MAIL only THE OPEN MESSAGE. DELETE IT BECAUSE IT IS A PIRATE! TELL EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST BECAUSE IF SOMEBODY ON YOUR LIST ADDS THEN YOU WILL GET IT ON YOUR LIST. IT SE FIGURE TO YOUR COMPUTER ID ADDRESS, SO COPY AND PASTE THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE EVEN IF YOU DO NOT TAKE CARE OF THEM QUICKLY, BECAUSE IF HE HACKS THEIR EMAIL HE HACKS YOUR MAIL TOO! .....   Anyone using the Internet like Yahoo, Hotmail, AOL mail and so on.  This information arrived this morning, Direct from Microsoft and Norton. Please send it to everybody you know who has access to the Internet and. You may receive an apparently harmless e-mail titled 'Mail Server Report' If you open a file, a message will appear on your screen saying: "it's too late now, your life is more beautiful." Subsequently you will LOSE EVERYTHING in YOUR PC, And the person who sent a o will have access to your name, e-mail and password. It is a new virus that began circulating Saturday afternoon. AOL has already confirmed the severity, and the anti virus software is not able to destroy . The virus was created by a hacker who is called 'life owner '... PLEASE SEND a COPY OF THIS email to ALL YOUR FRIENDS and ask them to SPEND IT IMMEDIATELY! Take care

  Essential facts of the message:

  1. "Microsoft and Norton confirmed...". "Dozens of fake virus alerts contain this phrase even.
  2. «AOL confirms...» "Once again, another classical travel operator.
  3. "... everything... lose hacker will have access to your computer...". "Contradictory requests.  If you lose all the files on your hard drive how the hacker accessed anything?

  Key did a quick search on Bing...

  4 Snopes.com lists this as a hoax known... from 2002!

  In almost all cases, these alerts are fake.  Transmission only creates more hysteria and nobody does something though.  I always delete when they arrive and never transfer them to anyone.

  writing in the new message: * e-mail address is removed from the privacy... *

  VERY URGENT - PLEASE READ - NOT A JOKE

  * MAKE THIS DEAL!
  *

  * IF A PERSON CALLED SIMON ASHTON (* address email is removed from the privacy * http://uk.mc870.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to= * address email is removed from the privacy *>) CONTACTS YOU BY E-MAIL only THE OPEN MESSAGE. DELETE IT BECAUSE IT IS A PIRATE!

  TELL EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST BECAUSE IF SOMEBODY ON YOUR LIST ADDS THEN YOU WILL GET IT ON YOUR LIST. IT SE FIGURE TO YOUR COMPUTER ID ADDRESS, SO COPY AND PASTE THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE EVEN IF YOU DO NOT TAKE CARE OF THEM QUICKLY, BECAUSE IF HE HACKS THEIR EMAIL HE HACKS YOUR MAIL TOO! .....
  *
  Anyone using the Internet like Yahoo, Hotmail, AOL mail and so on. This information arrived this morning, Direct from Microsoft and Norton. Please send it to everybody you know who has access to the Internet and. You may receive an apparently harmless e-mail titled * 'Mail Server Report.
  *
  If you open a file, a message will appear on your screen saying: "it's too late now, your life is more beautiful."

  Subsequently you will LOSE EVERYTHING in YOUR PC,
  And the person who sent a o will have access to your name, e-mail and password.

  It is a new virus that began circulating Saturday afternoon. AOL has already confirmed the severity, and the * anti virus software is not able to destroy *.

  The virus was created by a hacker who is called 'life owner '...

  PLEASE SEND a COPY OF THIS email to ALL YOUR FRIENDS and ask them to
  SPEND IT IMMEDIATELY!

  Take care

• Upgrade sececurity key for Windows 7 Professional blocked by Microsoft.

  I've upgraded to Windows 7 Professional and after charging me I get a message that has been the key to security to install blocked my Microsoft.  I got a message that I my have counterfeit software previously.  An hour on the phone with technical support from Microsoft in India was a joke. This is a computer that my last company allowed me to take with me and the software has been installed by them.    Re install?   If so, how?

  To analyze and solve problems for Activation and Validation, we need to see a full copy of the diagnostic report produced by the MGADiag tool (download and save to the desktop - http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?linkid=52012 )

  Once downloaded, run the tool.

  Click on the button continue, after a short time, continue button will change to a copy button.

  Click the copy button in the tool (ignore the error at this stage) and then paste (with r-click and paste or Ctrl + V) in your message. (please do not change the report.)

• Is it possible to live this terrible software that was installed on my new Dell laptop with Microsoft Windows 8? He cut my productivity in half.

  He is an incompetent unusable system.  How can I get out of it?

  Microsoft should be ashamed of themselves to release these BONES a terrible on desktop users. Unfortunately, you're in for a rough ride even if you use the classic interface to replace the Start button. While you may feel momentarily more at ease because some menu familiar elements, the fact is, he falls in and out of Metro with a total disregard for your user experience. You'll never make windows 8 return to windows 7, but here are some tips that might help you to "live with it", as you suggest. Gordon http://Reviews.cnet.co.uk/Software-and-Web-Apps/How-to-Make-Windows-8-look-like-Windows-7-50009546/ is quite correct, Yes, there is a big button in the metropolitan area called "desktop", but it's a joke. She teases you with only a glimmer of what was once the standard windows desktop. It's not at all like windows 7 because MS has this optimized for Tablet users and completely omitted to take into account when developing desktop users it :-( To ignore them, how many people do you think ran a program (or is it an app?) and I was wondering how the * out? Where is minimize it and close button gone? UH... how long they sit there scratching head here wondering how to get out. How many people hold the button walk / stop and restart, as the firm is missing. Oh, forgive me, microsoft. I should just guessed to grab the top of the screen and drag it down! M! M! If they found it hard to make at least a small showcase intro while setting up Windows 8 in the first place, it can have registered 'some' of fighting for people. Windows 7 is a good OS. It is familiar and very solid, although there are many things that I love yet (invasive restarts my main pet hate). Personally everything that windows 8 has done is to alienate users of office and pushed to OS much better as OSX and Linux distributions like Ubuntu. Yes, the mobile market is supported, and people using mobile phones and tablets, BUT not everyone. I have an ipad and an iphone but I can't work on it. I need a desktop computer to do my work and a lot of people do. I am using Windows 7 on my main PC, but I have 9 computers running Ubuntu, Mac OS x and XP. All rooms offer a decent user experience. I've been using windows since 3.1 and I saw a few exits doubtful as ME and Vista but this deserves no respect at all. Very well, if could be allowed on tablet devices or touch and their TV marketing is purely tactile conduit, but how many Office users are there? Hope the link helps you and I hope you can get on. I suspect that you will struggle until they release "Blue" which is the code name for "damage control for emergency OS"... and even then...

• Games Pogo and java have become a joke what I can do

  Java and pogo games have become a joke. or is it windows 8 which one.

  I'm afraid it will only get worse when Windows 8.1 out because it contains several changes as IE11. Just Pogo is not get it, or they don't give a dam about their customers. It must be so that everyone can complain about Pogo and if they don't fix find a different game site. It's the only thing that companies like Pogo understand. Hit in the pocket book. . Hope this helps and if you need any additional aid station and we will be happy to help you.

  The above opinion is mine and mine nothing and does not necessarily reflect that of Microsoft, it's employees, or any other Member of this forum.

  "When we try to take anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe." -John Muir

• Is it possible to use Microsoft Money on a mac laptop?

  I think of buying my first mac laptop.

  Is it possible to use Microsoft Money on the mac?

  Install Windows on your Apple computer then any program that runs on Windows. Windows can be installed using Boot Camp Assistant or using a machine virtual Parallels, Fusion, or VirtualBox.

• Microsoft Office 2011 issue

  I've looked at the folder of Microsoft office on my mac and was the removal of the things in the suite that I do not use outlook, for example. I also deleted something that says 'Read me' html. IM curious isn't it smart to do this and is it bad for security?

  depends, many legitimate companies have HTML read the so that the content can be updated on a Web site as soon as it will be applicable. A less demanding person might try to use a sneaky method to access a web page that is incriminating but if your concern is that any HTML file is inherently a security risk then everything on the internet must be avoided with this logic.